Writing and Organizing

As the Summer School term ends I am getting back into the Novel writing and starting to make notes for my PhD thesis. First though I need to spend some time sorting out the admin hell of resuming study. This will involve filling out forms and finding funding from somewhere. However, needs must. I am more and more convinced that in order to work I am going to need to complete this PhD and that the PhD needs to be written for its own sake.
So, mornings will be novel writing and afternoons are for admin and thesis notes as well as paid work/editing and all the other stuff that makes up life.
It seems as if just as everyone else closes down for the Summer I'm just revving up. That's fine with me, I can't stay out in the sun for too long anyway and I'm not taking another holiday until September, by which point I hope to be well into this draft, if not nearly finished with it.
So watch this space. First six chapters are mapped out. First three have gone off to supervisor for a read. I doubt he'll make any comment until I'm officially on the books, but it makes me feel better to be sending stuff out. Next three chapters should go off by end of next week.
Meanwhile, I had a wonderful weekend and the words 'Oh My Gawd' will from now and forever bring a smile to my face.

Parenting by phone

'Mum, you are nagging.'
Youngest daughter complains, two days after Glastonbury and our first phone conversation since before she left.
What she doesn't understand is that when you are parenting by phone, text and email, you've got a limited window of opportunity. I had a ten minute phone call in which to get in nagging, love and information. I needed her to know it was unacceptable not to call and let us know she was safe, tell her how much I missed her and how proud I was of her, pass on bits of gossip and find out what her plans were for end of term and summer holidays. Oh yes, and get her to chase up a Summer job opportunity I'd heard about before someone else got it. This is modern living I guess, we abbreviate in order to try and pack it all in. Things get lost along the way though. Because I don't think she realised how much I admire her managing to stay up all night dancing, how jealous I was that she got to see Tom Jones, Blur, Bruce Springstien and Kasabian, that I laughed myself silly recalling that she crept into the only cool tent on site and woke up to find it was the church tent and people were praying at her - loudly and in song!
Time passes, kids grow up, we all get a bit older. This is a summer we will remember, because it is so hot, so I hope it is a good one. I hope that both my kids hang around a bit this summer and chill out, that we get a chance to go shopping, have pizza nights, a laugh, and just a bit of nagging in there too. C'mon - it's my job, like doing embarrassing dances at family weddings.
By September, they'll be a blur heading back to college and uni - life whizzing by - decisions to make - futures to forge. I hope they enjoy the summer though.

Bloke has decided he doesn't like being referred to as 'Bloke' - not even 'The Bloke' - He wants to be a Geezer instead, but that doesn't seem right either. So, I'm going to call him by his name - Marc - because that's who he is and it suits him.
He's coming over later so I have to get on and write now, otherwise I'll be the one getting nagged!

Life of an insomniac

The trouble with sleep is that you have no control over it. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a control freak (well, not much of one anyway), but as I value my sleep I like it to be of good quality. Just recently I've gone back to the insomniac nights - wandering around the place at 2am in the morning wondering if there are any biscuits I have hidden from myself and rearranging furniture. When I finally get back to bed and get to sleep I've been having really weird and vivid dreams - sometimes they are upsetting and sometimes they are scary, but they are always deeply frustrating. Last night I kept losing things in my dreams, people, letters, money, places. It was very upsetting.
I woke up this morning cross, irritable and tired, the bedclothes were all over the place and the dreams were haunting me. It was supposed to be a writing day, but after several cups of coffee, a chat with a friend and a visit to the DIY shop, I still didn't feel refreshed enough to sit down and do anything constructive.
I thought I'd edit last week's chapter - no, that wasn't happening either.
I tried putting music on - nope. I rearranged the sofas - nada. Finally I wrote down all the things I hated about trying to write, and finally something started to emerge...a new chapter....hurrah. It's a bit rough round the edges, but it is down there, all 2,000 ish words of it, a draft of chapter 4.
So, another day and another night. I'm in my pj's, I have a book, a glass of milk and a cookie (the last of the homemade ones). I'm not going to think about youngest daughter going to Glastonbury still mad with me, or the horrible weekend we had. I'm not going to think of the teaching, the money issues or the rain promised for Friday. I got a chapter done, it was a writing day - I deserve a good night's sleep.
night night
x

Sara Bailey is away

From Friday, I'm off on a much needed, well earned break. I have two wonderful friends and colleagues taking my classes over for a week while the bloke and I head for the sun in Spain.
I am up to date with the Nanowrimo word count, in case you were wondering - 8017 words to date and taking the laptop with me.
I've had a couple of glasses of wine too, mainly to celebrate eldest daughter being viva'd for the Dean's Prize. She didn't get it, but was in the top 10 Medical Students in her year, so well done babe!
Will check when I'm back and hope that I've heard from Supervisorman by then about update report - I need it to get financial support. Then I just have to find the rest of the money for my PhD and I'm laughing. Meanwhile, I'm packing a bikini, a dress and factor 25 alongside the laptop. The rest can wait.

Drag me to Hell and back

Title is partly to do with film I went to see last night, Sam Raimi's 'Drag me to Hell' and partly to do with how I feel about writing at the moment. The film first - brilliant. One of the scariest films I've seen for ages, but compelling at the same time. So that rather than not wanting to watch you cannot help but get out from behind the jumper/jacket/sleeve/armpit of person next to you and keep your eyes on the screen. Came to conclusion that most films are moralistic tales - in this case, be nice to old ladies, they are really really strong and really really scary. In a way, the modern day horror movie takes the place of religious tales or fables - maybe this is why teenagers are so attracted to them. Just a thought.
So, that's the horror film dealt with. Now for the horror of writing. It has been a bad week for me, the first chapter felt limp, the second was fine and bounced along, the third chapter got written then deleted in a fit of pique. Head got put in hands, then under the duvet. Eventually I resorted to sulking and rearranging cupboards. Not my finest hour.
How you feel about your creative work is always going to affect your mood. It is human nature. The book is like your child, you want it to be perfect and you will defend it without question, but you are also its biggest critic and will have a tendency sometimes to just see the bad bits and not the good. Which is why I am going back to the unconditional love of Novel in a Month with this particular book. I think after being hauled screaming and kicking out of the cupboard (where it was put after a bad supervisory experience - more on which another time) it deserves to run around naked for a bit, have some fun, see if it is a book or maybe movie? Who knows - I did come up with a possible movie title for it last night, 'Take Me With You'. Not sure if that's a book title as well.
So it is back to writing without thinking too much. Instead of a daily output of 1000 thoughtful words tearing out the hair and wondering why it reads as if no thought went on at all), I'm going for the 1600 daily output of Nanowrimo. The weather is good, the egg timer is primed. Time to get out of the hell of writing and back into the fun of it.
I'll let you know how it goes.

one thousand words a day

Right, so I've started the new novel, and I've been working on doing a thousand words a day six days a week, with the idea that I'll finish it before the beginning of the new term in September. So far so good, I'm on day three and I've done 3,000 words which is Chapter 1. Whew! The bloke had a look at it over the weekend and I've made some notes based on his comments, but the idea is that while this isn't 'Novel in a Month' I do want to put a pretty tight deadline on it. I think of it as a thoughtful Nanowrimo - less writing by the seat of my pants, but still getting the words down. I firmly believe the story is in all of us. Aristotle didn't make up stuff for Poetics, he observed and recorded - we are wired up to create narrative, it really is a matter of getting the brain out of the way and allowing the story through.
Met with supervisor yesterday and after lots of gossip and catch up chat, we have a sort of plan, I think. Basically, I get on with it and send him what ever I want feedback on. I'll send him the first 10,000 words before the holiday and see how that goes. I think I just need to get into better habits. We talked a bit about using this blog for the PhD - there may be some question about the validity of using it as an academic document. My feeling is that it is more of a Journal, a record of the process of writing, that, hopefully will work as a bridge between the novel and the critical analysis work.  This is my theory and I'm sticking to it.  Have run out of words today, brain feels as soggy as the weather, which is rank.
Meanwhile - off to see 'Tormented' tonight, with the bloke and youngest daughter.

Sentence by Sentence

I'm a bit low at the moment, some sad family news, nothing majorly drastic or dramatic, but distracting. I've been trying to write the opening of the new book and it is HARD. The trouble is that I read a lot of stuff - some good, some bad and I'm always looking for what works and what doesn't - which means when I come to write I cannot turn the internal editor off. Today I have managed 237 words and I'm about to reduce that down to about 150 because the last four lines are all telling not showing.
It is a sentence by sentence day, where all you can do is try to move forward sentence by sentence, one tiny baby step at a time. The plan is pretty much there and I like the working title enough not to mess around with it any more, I may just go for broke and try to bash out a replacement 150 words before I go off to teach, or I may just stare at the screen a bit more.
I ought to go for a walk or a run, but it is raining - again.
Not a good day.
Let's hope tomorrow is better and I'm not feeling sad anymore.